Ever since departnering, I've felt depressed, and haven't wanted to do anything at all. I haven't wanted to blog, go exploring, or leave the house. I've been kinda blah feeling. And on top of that, my sales have been going down the drain, and I have no idea how I am going to pay for tier next week. So, I've been laying off shopping for a bit, which really sucks. I am not sure what to do anymore. It's a really crappy feeling, and there really isn't much I can do about it. And, now I'm sick.
Anyway. While I was mulling about how crappy SL is lately, I came across a house and it made me go: :O
Its so freaking huge. In my crap feeling state, I thought: What kind of person would enjoy such a huge house? and What do they do to be able to spend so much on it? This house was 9 bedrooms, almost $19,000L, and required at least 25,000sq. meters of land.
At that moment, I felt like I was slammed against a brick wall. What am I in SL to do anymore? I can never get inspired to make new poses, to the point that its like pulling teeth now, I am constantly alone, and the only thing I ever find myself doing is fishing in my pond, because I can never find anything else to do.
I log into SL dreading it. The most logical solution to most people would be: Just log off for a few days and deal with RL. With RL, I'd face the same problems. I always hoped I'd have a different life in SL, but when I finally really thought about it - my two lives are exactly the same.
I wish I was able to live the life of a famous fashion blogger. Being invited to the best parties, being talked to by designers, and being known.
I wish I was someone with many friends. You know, the type that go shopping with a group of people, dress up in weird outfits and go explore together.... just generally surrounded by people all the time.
How long have I pretended to be something I'm not? More importantly - who am I? In RL, I am a 23 year old who rarely leaves the house, is obsessed with Starbucks Iced Black Teas with 10 pumps of classic sweetener, addicted to nasal spray, owns 2 tee shirts, and 3 pairs of pants, and never leaves her most comfortable black sweatpants with Adidas sandals. I don't answer the house phone at all, and the only people programmed in my cell phone are my cousin and brother.
In SL, I have a wardrobe I've always wished I owned in RL, play the role of wannabe fashion blogger, have oceanfront property, and run a failing store.
Its really funny how one thing such as a simple house can give you a wake up call, and let you see who you are, what you've become, and where your (either) life is headed. Its heartbreaking, depressing, but I am not entirely sure what to do about it.
I really don't mean to be all emo lately. This post will most likely self-destruct by tomorrow morning.
October 19, 2008 at 6:57 PM
*hugs Sai*
I'm sorry that both lives have got you down these days. I think we've all been there at one time or another. But through my tough times, I found out that I wasn't alone as I had thought, and neither are you. It's true that we all get so busy that we don't hang out as much as we'd like. But you are more than welcome to come hang out on our beach with us at any time. Sometimes we'll all find something crazy to do too. Either I or Cen can send you the LM. We've created it as a gathering for our friends, and we certainly welcome you there as one of our friends.
The tough times will pass, you've just got to persevere. Just know that you don't have to go it alone. You do have friends here that will be there with you.
And if it makes you feel any better. I actually bought a huge house when I was kind of down. Except I never did find a place big enough that I could afford to rez it. So there it sits in my inventory.
October 19, 2008 at 9:07 PM
Sai, you are one of my fave peeps and I hate to see you this way. But I totally understand what you're saying and have felt that myself.
You do have lots of people who care about you. I especially respect and admire your honesty in this post. You are saying what a lot of us, well...me..have felt in the past.
This too will pass. But you have to hang in there. You are so talented, so kind...the kind of person I admire. There aren't enough people like you in SL.
Like Dyami said, you are not alone. You are welcome to hang out with me, too. Although Cen and Dyami sound like more fun. ;-)
It sux to be partnered and then single. Especially in the beginning...that lost feeling. But it passes. I promise.
*hugs*
October 19, 2008 at 10:30 PM
Sai, I hope this soon passes. It is hard figuring out what you want to do in Second Life, there are so many options. Maybe you need to go back to scratch and start again in a different direction.
Making friends isn't easy in SL and mine all are on different time zones so we don't cross paths often. But I manage to have fun there anyway and have met some interesting people.
Take care. It takes time to figure things out both in RL and SL. We are all works in progress.
Jmb Balogh in SL
October 19, 2008 at 10:45 PM
*huggles* I'm gonna go hang out at your place and bug you the next time I see you inworld :) Your place is prettier than mine anyway, that's not a hardship! hehehehe
I've been bored and aimless in SL before and it's so much worse than RL because, we choose to be in SL. When SL seems empty and meaningless it's really like being cast adrift without a rudder. At least in RL there are still certain routines to follow, chores that need to be done, and so on. But we don't have that kind of 'frame' in SL. It can make one feel kinda lost sometimes. I know how you feel, but this too will pass. We all love you :)
October 20, 2008 at 1:37 AM
Oh honey... I'm not going to give you the whole "My IM is always open!" thing since I've said it before, and I have a feeling that you and I are very similar in that we don't like to bother people. :) But you are most definitely NOT alone, not in SL, and not in how you're feeling. It's only natural after an unpartnering to be sad. I know I haven't worked a bit on any of my products since my unpartnering. You lose that little bit of drive for some reason. But it will come back. You have to let yourself have the emo time. I'm still having mine. :) And it's ok to do it.
I'm going to grab you in world at some point and force you to dress silly and come freebie hunt with me. I think the both of us spend way too much time by ourselves and we need to stop it. *hugs you*
October 20, 2008 at 6:42 AM
Oooh Sai! It's very natural for you to feel unmotivated and dejected at this time. When you so look forward to spending quality time with someone and they are no longer around.
I've read several profiles that have a tribute to the time spent with a special person who has left SL. They are mourned. Then eventually it is possible to pick up your life again and find a renewed interest either in creative pursuits (the juices flowing again) or a new person.
Allow yourself this time; it is a natural part of the healing process. It's no comfort, but it will pass.
You are surrounded by real people who really do care about you, the first and second life you.
*big hug*
October 20, 2008 at 8:46 AM
Sai! Don't feel so sad!
I loves you, and every time I get to talk to you you brighten my day. If you weren't around my SL experience wouldn't be as good. You make a difference to more people than you realize. And, you do have a group of people who love you and want you around.
Post-breakup times are always teh suck. I always get into a big funk and am seriously emo. But it passes and your friends will still be beside you when the sun comes out again.
October 20, 2008 at 11:16 AM
October 20, 2008 at 11:19 AM
October 20, 2008 at 4:33 PM
it sucks that you're down right now, because you're one of the awesomest people in all of SL and I don't see how RL you could be much different. I'm so happy to have you as a friend because you care about people in such a genuine way. I wish that when my friends (or me) get down I could just kick the sadness out or punch it or something but I can't. if it helps any at all, just know that a lot of people care about you. *hug*
October 20, 2008 at 11:05 PM
I'm really sorry you are feeling down, someone as sweet and kind and smart and fun as you one would think has an amazing life, both lives. It's funny we don't reach out to people because we think they are doing just great.
Remember you do have friends, silly ones that will do just about anything with you, or just quiet ones who you can talk to. We're all here for you cause we've all been where you are.
/me rubs your ears hoping it will help
October 20, 2008 at 11:40 PM
*hugs*
I don't know what else to tell you, what you are feeling is so close to what I do so...
Hang in there :)
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