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So much has happened since my last post. First, Jeffry and I celebrated our one year together. Can you believe its already been one year since we got engaged in SL? Not me. Its been a whirlwind of adventure, filled with happy, marriage, a daughter, and RL meetings.


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On our anniversary, we decided to go for another baby, with a few things different this time. The main one being, a longer pregnancy. The standard 2 month SL pregnancy time was just way to short, by the time I edited a cute piece of clothing for my shape, it was time to change to another shape. Jeffry and I couldn't decide how long to do the pregnancy for, so we just decided to go for the whole 9 months. Yep. I'll be SL pregnant for 9 full months. Crazy, right? So, we bought a tummy talker (for at home, I refuse to wear it out in public), and since its been a month already, I put on my first pregnancy shape.

Second thing that happened - I went to his home town for a full week to be with him. I've been really excited to see his town, where he lived, and spend time with him. I had such a wonderful time with him. I loved every second of it, from dinner at Taco Johns, seeing fireflies, being eaten alive by fish and mosquitoes, to just cuddling in bed together. It was an amazing time. I will do a brief blog post about it here once I am able to talk about it without crying (I mean, I just got home on Tuesday, so I'm still very emotional about leaving). I'm also planning a much bigger post on my RL blog filled with tons of photos as well. If anyone is interested in reading it, I am considering posting a link.

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I've been trying to play with photos a bit more again and working on the Dodge/Burn tools a bit. I think they look better than what I started with a couple months ago, but obviously, I still need tons of work and practice to go.


Photo Playings

I've been playing a lot of WoW today, so this was a good change of pace, and I do enjoy spending a little time on playing with photos once in a while. :)

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BBBC2010 topic 3: Thoughts on relationships in SL. With my past partners, I was content with the only SL thing. One partner had a busy life already, another partner didn't even want want to tell me any information about his RL self at all. But that was okay. SL was my paradise, and my escape from my real world. There was more to SL than talking about RL, right? I mean, you have wonderful sims to explore and talk about, so much shopping to do, and other avatars to talk about! I've heard of Second Life residents meeting each other and marrying before. Yes, I was slightly envious. But hey, good for them - that kind of happiness and fluffy stuff just doesn't happen to me, and I'm used to it. At least, thats what I thought at the time.


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Jeffry, when I met him in SL, I swore our relationship was going to be just the same. SL only, living across the United States without ever meeting, or even talking via phone. When he brought it up, I was a little scared to commit to a RL meeting, because I am really insecure about my RL self. But our meeting came, was wonderful, made me totally happy, and then it went. (Yes, I know I've blogged about it many, many times)

After the meeting, its been about 2 months now, and while we don't get in SL together much anymore, we still talk all the time via GTalk, Skype, phone and texting. We are more like a long distance RL couple, than a SL couple now. Occasionally, we will plan a movie night, where we'd go rent a movie in SL and cuddle while we watch it, which sometimes feels incredibly real. Its a strange feeling, seeing my avatar curled up to the avatar of my long distance fiance - I can imagine his touch, almost as if he's really with me. Weird, really. I thought I understood it before the meeting, but once we actually met, the feeling has been magnified. As if its not difficult enough to explain, imagine trying to explain it to someone who isn't into SL at all.

Sometimes, it feels like its made our relationship worse, because... when we cuddle in SL, I am reminded how much I miss him. Even with the imaginary feeling, it still doesn't fully replace the real thing. But at the same time, its made things better, because I know he is a real person (in a virtual world, its difficult to remember this sometimes), he's committed to me in both worlds, and SL has become a compliment to our relationship, and not what we are based on.

What was the topic again? Oh, right. Relationships. Well, that about sums every bit of my thoughts on SL/RL relationships, right?

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Today's BBBC2010 topic was pretty simple. List 3 things that make SL positive for me. But still, for some reason, I had to think about it. I mean, my number one was a given. But the other 2? I was not sure. After thinking about it though, I came up with my three things.


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1. Jeffry. Obviously. He's the one that's most positive in SL to me, and I always look forward to when we log in together, whether it be to watch a silly movie, or just curl up in bed and do some cuddling. Our daughter, Jasmine falls under number one as well. Both marrying Jeffry, and the birth of our baby girl were such positive experiences in my Second Life existence, I never even imagined I'd be doing either one. And never, ever, in either life, did I imagine I'd have met my SL husband in RL, AND become his real life fiancee.

2. My Blog. Without it, I don't know where I'd be. It has been my little log of adventures, and for a long time, it kept me moving in SL. I have no doubt that I would have left without my precious blog. In a time when I was feeling my lowest, I kept posting, looking forward to my next blog post, and it became something that made me happy. I remember way back when I first started it, I wanted to just log my SL explorations for future use, but then it became so much more to me. It's now a log of my adventures, heartbreak, and happiness. As silly as it is, I love sharing bits of my SL experiences with the blog (and/or blog readers), and its more of my diary now, as it's evolved and grown up with me through these 3 years.

3. My Home. My home is such a positive place for me, and it makes me happy in ways that I can't even explain. It's wonderful to come home to a place that I know I can be alone, to cuddle my husband in privacy, and sort inventory in peace. It's soothing to know that when I log back in the next day, I won't get bombarded with people asking me : "want sex? i have hotel" at an infohub when I have no home to log out at (and yes, I have been asked that, in the past). It's my little place of quiet, in a SL world that is so loud and unpredictable. Also, who doesn't love to come home to a place that is always tidy and filled with beautiful things? And, where in the world would I put a piano in my RL home? :)

Life is wonderful, sometimes it just takes a few minutes to sit back and realize what you have, and not what you want. This was a great topic to write about. :)

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Alicia Chenaux is doing the Big Bad Blogger Challenge again this year, and you know I had to participate. I love the BBBC, so it should be fun to blog every day this week. I even decided I would blog every day for one week on my fashion-y blog too. Maybe I'll get to clear out some outfit photos I've been hoarding.


But anyway, I thought I would blog a little about the new skybox I put down a couple days ago. I was looking at houses to put down on land, but the one I wanted was way too expensive for me to buy. So, I started looking at skyboxes again.

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I fell in love with this one. It has a bathroom and a separate room for baby Jasmine as well! Not very many prefabs come with an extra bedroom, I always find myself modding a second room onto houses for her (well, okay, The 2nd bedroom in this house is supposed to be an office, but a couple curtains, and its a bedroom). This is total perfection in a box. :D

And, I love having a husband who lets me change homes all the time with my prefab addiction. I try to keep it minimum for him, but whenever I ask him if I can change skyboxes, he says "I'll love whatever you put down, just make sure Jasmine has a room." :)

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Last week was my 3rd rezday.

Happy Late Rezday to Me

I can't believe its been 3 years already.

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Hello! I'm alive, really. First to thank those who commented about my last post, gave me kind words in-world, and those who let me know I even got onto NWN about it. I had no idea my story would interest many people, but apparently it has even got the attention of a RL documentary. :P

Jeffry left California over a month ago, and things are much easier now. Life has somewhat returned to normal, and although I do miss him all the time, I'm not overly emotional and crying at every thought as I was right after he left. I am even able to watch a silly little video of him I took from my phone without crying too, which is great. My trip for July is coming together, and I'm really excited. He's looking at hotels around him, and I'm buying my plane ticket this coming Friday. I've never been out of California before, or ever been on plane... I'm incredibly nervous about the plane, but really still excited about seeing him again.

It's sometimes difficult to know what to call Jeffry here on the blog or plurk anymore. Is he my fiance? My husband? We are engaged in RL, married in SL, so sometimes the distinction isn't as easy as it would seem. With him, I call him my fiance on the phone, or texting, but when we both are logged in to SL, he changes to husband. But talking about him to other people via plurk and blog, its more difficult to label him as fiance or husband. It seems I just label him as "SL husband/RL fiance" when I don't know what to call him. xD

Coming Back

As for my SL and my blogs, I'm continuing to push myself back into SL, and continue blogging, making poses (I even have a new pose set in the works!), but lately I feel so out of touch with people, friends, fashion, blogging.... the SL world moves so fast, if you are away for a week, you miss everything. I keep wanting to blog more, but I can't really find anything of interest to blog. I spend most of my time on a pose stand lately, on a mission to completely organize my inventory. I haven't organized my inventory in over 2 years, I've found so many things I've bought, and totally forgot about. xD

But anyway, for those who are wondering - I am well, happy, and things are going wonderful for me. I love my SL, my WoW world, my life, and my fiance. Honestly, can life get any better?

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So, I figured it's about time to write about my first RL meeting with my SL husband, Jeffry. It might be a long, worded post, so feel free to skim on by. :)

On Thursday, April 8th, he was set to come into Sacramento International Airport at 4pm. I arrived slightly early, and nervous as hell. I knew him immediately, and felt like we've known each other forever, instead of just a year via internet. We hugged nervously, not really knowing what to do. And he was extremely quiet, I'm assuming he was just as nervous. The first day, I showed him around the area I lived, took him to Walmart to get a few things they wouldn't allow on the plane, introduced him to In-n-Out Burger, and then we went off to a park. We walked the frisbee golf course, talked, watched a creek stream, and then sat on a park table and talked some more. After that, it was pretty late, so I took him to his hotel, and I went home to sleep.

The second day, we woke up early, I got to check out his hotel room, as he told me about the breakfast they have there. a little later, we took off to the mall, spent a few hours there, and he bought a Walle plushie (Walle was the first movie we watched together in SL). He paid for lunch for me, as much as I begged him not to. Then after that, we went back to the hotel. I had to leave for a bit to pick up a family member, and as I was on my way back, he had told me that he took my sweatshirt earlier that day.

As I walked into the hotel room, he told me it was in the bathroom, so I went to grab it and lifted it up... to find a letter and a bag with chocolate dipped strawberries. Without stopping to read or open anything, I ran out, almost in tears. And he was there as I came around the corner of the bathroom to catch me, and after he calmed me down, he went in there to read the letter he wrote with me. We came back out, where he had put down a couple (fake) rose petals and little candles on the bed while I was in the bathroom. Cliche, I know, but its so totally like him. I laid on the bed, mind blown that they make actual fake rose petals, and he laid in front of me, telling me to get something out of his back pocket. I eventually did, and knew what it was when I seen it. He asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. Afterwards, we stayed at the hotel for a while, and I went home to sleep for the night.


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Saturday, we thought it would be a great idea to go swimming. It was about 60 degrees, and the water was freezing. But it sounded like a good idea until we got in the water. I ran into the water, and swam circles around him as he turned into an icicle and attempted to catch me. But after about 10 minutes in freezing water, we decided to get out. We waited a couple minutes outside of the pool to drip dry, and then took off running to the warm hotel shower. I had some embarrassing thing happen to me (which I don't ever want to relive), and I spent the whole time in the shower crying because I was so horrified. He was able to calm me down, and gently held me as I cried it out. After that, we stayed in bed for the rest of the day, watching movies and talking some more. I stayed the night with him that night.

Sunday, the plan was that I'd take him to Frys, my favorite electronics store. However, we had some drama happened, and we never made it into Frys. It was our last full day together, and other than the drama, uneventful. We went to the hotel after a failed trip to Frys, so I could try to fix the drama. Watched more Shrek the Third and other movies together, before going to sleep.

On Monday, he had to be at the airport in the morning, and I was starting crying at the hotel at the thought of him leaving. It was raining pretty hard on the way to the airport, and when it was time to say goodbye, I swear nothing has ever been harder to do than let go of his hand and turn the other way. He handed me the Walle plush seconds before I turned to let him go. I cried the second I turned away, cried all the way to the car, cried all the way home, and I stayed in bed for a good 2 days after, just crying. I took it really hard, I was unable to look at the Walle plush for those few days, unable to unpack my things I took to the hotel, unable to watch Shrek, and unable to do anything with the shirt I stole from him.

Things are easier now though. I sleep with my Walle plushie, I've unpacked and washed my clothes, and we watched Shrek together a few days ago (well, it was on TV, and it was 2 hours ahead for him, but we still watched it at the same time). I had such a great time with him, and he took such good care of me. I know for sure now, that he is the one I'm supposed to be with. In the short time he was here, I've been the happiest I think I've ever been, and it was the first time ever, that I actually cried that much for any man. Our RL time together, was just as amazing as our SL time is. It's funny to me, that I love SL because its my little "fantasy" world, where everything is perfect. However, my RL weekend with the RL Jeffry, was just as perfect as any SL moment ever.

Good news is, I'm starting to plan my trip up to Iowa to see him next time. I'm shooting for July, but might be earlier because I can't wait. :)

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Oh, I have a blog to take care of, don't I? Well, happy easter, to those who celebrate it - in a few hours, I'll be stuffing my face with ham and potato salad, but I thought I'd come and write down a blog post first.


happy easter

I've only logged into SL a couple times the past couple weeks, mainly to clear notices. I haven't really felt like logging into SL, I think because I've lost my mojo, and distanced myself from everything I really enjoyed doing. I've found myself just sitting in the house, doing nothing. So, my will to come back to SL has been very faint.

However, I am picking my SL husband up from the RL airport in under 4 days, and as I get more nervous and excited about finally meeting him, I'm finding that I'm coming back to SL. He's been patient, and respectful of my distance from SL for the past few weeks, and when I told him to log in last night because I wanted cuddles, I think it caught him off guard :P My excitement about meeting him in RL is slowly bringing me back, encouraging me to get dressed up again, and just spend more SL time in general.

I believe Jeffry and I are going to be renewing our SL wedding vows while he's here with me in RL - So I gotta know whats new, and hot right now in SL, right? :D

I logged in to set up my stall at the pose fair a couple days ago, which was the first time I've logged in for a long-ish period of time. Then I did some inventory organizing, and last night, Jeffry logged in to spend some more time with me. It's actually been nice, and I think my little SL break has been what I needed.

As for the 365 project, obviously, with me gone for so long, its kind of.... too late for it now. I tried, I kept it up for as long as I could. Blogging that much, is not really me.

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I'm not doing well with the 365 project anymore, am I?

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Well, I just wanted to pop on and say: These Bax 50% off for group member boots - are freaking amazing. And that comes from someone who swears off pointy toed boots. LOVE them.

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Its been a while since I brought out this Sci Fi Hallway prop. I LOVE it. Its so fun to play with.

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I was unhappy with the landscaping of our home, so I got some ficus trees, and redid everything. Turned out pretty nice, I think.

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I added a stream from the grotto, more rocks, a tulip field, a bridge, and my adorable new trees. I love it so much more now. Its like, a little tranquil place to live.

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Last week, I decided I wanted Ozimals bunnies again. But I didn't want a normal bunny, I wanted a lop. I had no idea how difficult they would be to find, nor how expensive they would be to buy. My husband and I jumped around to several places, before he teleported me to a bunny mall, to see the only lop eared bunny we were able to find. The price: $3,000L.

I was certain I'd be able to find one cheaper elsewhere, because $3,000L was too much to pay for a virtual bunny. Prices will come down eventually, right? As much as I complained and begged him not to do it, he proceeded to buy the bunny nest, and made us the owners of a lop bunny.

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We took it home, and waited the hour for it to finish the birth... turned out it was a male. So I went back and picked up an adorable live female for him to eventually breed with.

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My pictures are from last week sometime, so they are a little outdated. We named them Mano and Rahima (which are the names of our Aion characters), and they had their first lop eared baby together yesterday. :D

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So, my husband has been leaving me adorable little gifts lately for me when I log into SL. Its really reminded me why I adore this man so much, why I married him, and how lucky I am to have him. His little gifts make my day, even if they are a vase of roses sitting on our dining room table with a silly little prim card. :D

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I wouldn't trade this man for anything. I don't think I write enough about him, but even on the days I feel the worst... I feel a little better just seeing a text when I wake up on my cell phone from him with the simple words that say "I love you." He does such sweet small things for me that I think I've been overlooking lately, such as his small gifts, and his "I miss you" texts on his way to work.

Its the little things I love the most about my husband... the things that he does for me to show me he cares. And, today I've made a promise to myself, that I would cherish every single one of these little things, and tell him every day how much I care for him, in return.

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So, I'm extremely upset with NCSoft with how they handled my Aion game play problem. I'm really considering canceling my subscription now because of it. But anyway.

With the change of Bluebonnet's texture to springtime grass, I decided to do some landscaping. On my side of the center Bluebonnet hill, I've had this strange cliff type thing going on since we moved in. As I picked up my winter trees, I got the idea in my head that a really nice waterfall would look great in that spot.

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My husband and I looked around a couple places. Came across a few waterfalls that look nice. But somehow, we both fell in love with a grotto. We actually seen a couple we were choosing from, but this particular grotto was the one we both agreed on.

Yes. Sai Pennell and her husband... are the owners of a grotto.

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I spent a good chunk of the weekend playing Aion, with my SL husband. I've been wanting to get to level 30 so I could buy my level 30 wings, and get my first piece of "Mercy" chain armor for my chanter. Last weekend was one of Aion's Double Experience Weekends, so we took advantage of it and reached level 30 on Saturday. And, I managed to finally buy my new wings, get my armor, and do some crafting. So happy!

Aion Lvl 30 Wings

Though a while ago, to get the second piece of armor in that set, Jeffry and I created new characters (him a sorcerer, and me a templar) to level them up to level 30 as well. When I tried logging my templar in again, my screen kept freezing and restarting my computer was the only thing that fixes it. Even then, I get about 5 seconds after everything loads, and it freezes again.

So, I set up a support ticket with NCSoft, who told me that my computer is running too hot, which is affecting performance. I've opened the computer case and have a huge fan blowing in there, so we'll see if I'm able to play tonight.

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"Love is the greatest refreshment in life." - Pablo Picasso

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"The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development,
invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears."
- Edgar Allan Poe

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I've been so busy the past week, I haven't had time to do much of anything, and for some reason, I've been dreading logging into Second Life. I'm not sure why, I just don't feel right in SL. I wish I could shake the feeling off, but I'm not sure.

Oh, NSFW photo coming up! Scroll really fast if you have bosses looking over your shoulder!

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It might not be that bad, but I like to warn people just in case their workplace is really strict.

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It's been brought to my attention that baby Jasmine, hasn't been featured on here for a while. And I don't even think she's made an appearance on the 365 Day project. We shall change that!

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Originally I stopped bringing her into blog posts because I realize not everyone enjoys prim babies. Despite the happy responses I got from the pregnancy and such, I think the majority of SL'ers think babies are creepy and such, so I was trying to respect it. Then, once Thanksgiving and Christmas came, my RL has been so busy with family and stuff, that Jasmine Arlene got sent to Grandma Inventory's house, and I recently went and picked her up from there.

So, here is our daughter, Jasmine Arlene, making her first appearance in the 365 Day Project :D

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I was working on poses yesterday, and finally have a set that will be released tomorrow. So, a preview of a pose in that set:

pose-preview

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I've spent so long inventory organizing the past couple of days, I don't even want to log into SL anymore. But yet I do anyway.

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It seems SL for me had turned into a constant need to organize inventory. I have over 57,000 items, and folders upon folders that haven't been filed into proper categories since the POE hunt LAST YEAR. It's ridiculous, and I can't believe I've let it get so bad. I feel like I need to go on a Second Life episode of Hoarders.

But I don't know. I don't think I hoard, I'm just horribly lazy, don't like sorting things, and when I go on a hunt or buy something, its just easier to say "I'll deal with it later." However, I did find this beautiful gown I bought sometime last year for Halloween.

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Of course... I never got to wear it for Halloween. Perhaps next year?

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I really, really, really LOVE this photo.

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'nuff said. :D

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I'm not sure my husband will be very happy with me blogging this photo, but I think I'm going to take my chances. (Sometimes I make him sound so mean in my posts, but he's really the sweetest guy you'd ever meet xD)

Our home is something that I'm constantly working on, I never seem to be satisfied with how its furnished, and there's always something I want to change. My current projects now is the entryway, and the artwork for the bedroom. No matter what I put down, it just doesn't feel right in the room. And, Jeffry always lets me do whatever I want to our home. If I tell him what new thing I did to the room, he always just says "Oh, that's cool, honey :D" ... Even when I told him I was going to rez pet pigs all over the house. o.O

For the entry, I was experimenting with pianos for the middle focus piece, and came across this piano from Belle Belle in my inventory. It's a bit primmy, at a little over 100 prims, but its beautiful, and even comes with poses. You know I had to try them out (sadly, by myself last night), in my little white bikini. :O

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The following photo is probably NSFW! I don't know if it is or not, but I figure I'd better warn. While we have clothes on, its a pretty provocative photo. Scroll down at your own risk :P

But anyway. I'm not really sure if I would have made it through the past couple months without my husband. He put up with my moodiness from my family, and listened to me rant, complain, and occasionally lash out at him for no apparent reason. We've had a lot of downs because of my moods last month, but he was able to tolerate me at my worst. And, his feelings never wavered from me.

I'm really excited because with the RL family gone, who seemed to like hovering over my shoulder and like asking what I was doing all the time, I can spend some more time in SL with the one person who was brave enough to handle my angry, "I hate the world" attitude. He came into SL to cuddle with me for the first time in ages today. I loved it so much, and it made me so happy.

I would marry this man 20 times if he'd let me. :P

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As creepy as they are, I really, really love these eyes.

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